Relationship Tips

Making Love vs. Having Sex: Understanding the Differences

When people talk about making love, it actually connotes a different thing as compared to having sex. But is there any difference between the two?

Read on to find answers.

In reality, sex doesn’t always feel the same even if you are having it with the same person. The act feels different every time – at one time it is kinky, the next moment it is fast, and other times it is vanilla.

What does “Making Love” Imply?

Lovemaking is simply synonymous with having sex. However, many times people refer to lovemaking as the type of sex-making involving intimacy, deep connection, romance, and even spirituality.  A sex and dating coach explains lovemaking as the physical expression of love between two people.

Usually, when people talk about lovemaking, they mean having sex with someone you are emotionally connected to or someone you truly love. This idea of lovemaking may have come into existence based on what people know traditionally as courtship.

Making Love vs. Having Sex

The difference between these two related terminologies can be said to be subjective. This is because both acts can feel the same, look the same, and involve the same acts or behaviors. The biggest difference, however, lies in the motive behind the sex – lovemaking can simply be seen as using sex to express romantic love feelings.

Differences between Lovemaking and Having Sex

The following are some of the key differences associated with lovemaking and having sex:

Making Love is about your partner while having sex is about you

Often, you hear the saying “make love to me”. What this means is that you are to love the other person’s body head to toe.

When making love, your focus is on your partner’s body, while the focus is on your body when we are talking about having sex.

Lovemaking is about enjoying every bit of the action while having sex is concerned with reaching the climax

When you make love, you cherish every moment. Everything matters when you are making love – the way you touch your partner, how you kiss and caress, the gentle thrusts, etc. In this case, your orgasm doesn’t really matter as long as there is an intimate connection between your two bodies.

On the other hand, having sex entails reaching an orgasm. Touches matter in this case when it involves the genitals only. In fact, having sex may not require any foreplay or after play, the goal is reaching climax.

You can have sex with virtually anybody, but you only make love to the person you love

This is as straightforward as it is. With lovemaking, there is emotional involvement, while this does not necessarily hold true for having sex.

The Bottom Line

When two people make love, what they do is express intimacy through the sexual act. So, we can simply put it that lovemaking is about how intimately you engage in sexual intercourse with a partner.

For it to be called lovemaking, emotional intimacy needs to be added to the equation and not just physical intimacy.

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